Really?

I just finished reading Why women entrepreneurs fail..

I am one of the female students Amy talks about.

And I am not sure whether I feel offended or amused.

I do know that making people feel bad about themselves is not going get them to do what you think they should be doing.

About the only positive words Amy has to offer about her female students are "I know you are capable of doing great things if you would just f*ing do them." (Bleep is mine.) Other than line the first half of the post is a temper tantrum, contrasting the feebleness of her female students with the virtues of the dudes.

The second part (from "Value yourself, or no one else will") is good advice. Well worth taking to heart. It's harsh, but true.

Too bad it comes after the first part.

It has me wondering how many women will be scared off by the first part or the harsh truth of the second; and how many will finally hear the quarter drop that they alone are driving the car of their lives to its destination. And then how many of those that heard the quarter drop will eventually drop out because erasing a lifetime of conditioning takes more than a single kick in the butt.

Amy absolutely has a point with the first part. Females, whether Amy's students or not, can come up with a crap ton of bullshit about why they are not achieving what they say they want to achieve.

And yes, it is bullshit. Mostly.

But no amount of calling their bullshit bullshit is going to make 'em produce less of it. Because it is bullshit that stems from deeply ingrained thoughts and behaviors. And no amount of rationality, not even in the form of a stiff kick in the butt, is going to change that overnight.

"Why woman entrepreneurs fail"

Is that even the right question?

I don't think it is. Not when Angle investors like Tucker Max (who has stopped angel investing by the way) are preferring young female founders over young male founders, and studies bear out the wisdom of preferring female CEO's.

Amy says she doesn't want to write about business for women "Because I write for people, and women are people."

How nice.

And ... how blind.

If you don't want to write about business for women "because woman are people", stop contrasting your students' results along gender lines.

Oh sure, the difference in results of your students most probably falls along gender lines.

But why is that? Is gender really the cause? Or could you dig a little deeper and find more helpful distinctions?

Do your 5 why's, Amy. Perhaps even 10. Because you have good reasons and then you have the real reasons.

But even if gender really were the only distinguishing factor in your students' results, do you really think that telling females to suck it up and just do it is going to be an effective coaching strategy?

Could it be that your approach to teaching falls better on male than on female ears?

It's like a parent saying "I don't know why X turned out so different from siblings Y and Z. I loved them all and I treated them all the same."

Admirable. Yet exactly what that parent did wrong. X needed a completely different approach to the one on which Y and Z thrived. And that parent didn't see and certainly didn't act according to it.

Whether you like it or not, teaching and coaching females is a lot different from teaching and coaching males.

How and why they came to need a different approach, is irrelevant. It doesn't matter how the mental makeup of your students got established. If those differences do fall along gender lines, then sorry, but you will just have to deal with that.

A good parent, and coach for that matter, tailors his coaching to each of his pupils individually, treating every single one of them equal but different. He determines his approach of each of his pupils based on their strengths and weaknesses, their likes and dislikes, and their personal circumstances.

It's your job to be as effective a teacher you can be to each and every one of your students. And if that means tailoring your approach to cater to women and men differently, then maybe you are the one who needs to suck it up and just do it.

If you want your female students to do better, and I know you care, start dealing with them as women with all the strengths and weaknesses that that entails. Your female students deserve a teacher that doesn't hide behind "women are people". They deserve an approach tailored to their needs and a teacher that brings out the best in them without throwing a temper tantrum because her approach up till now has been more effective for male students than it has been for females.

One thought on “Really?

  1. Michael Kingsford Gray

    Hear, hear. People in general have different learning styles. Often very different.

    It matters not where the cause of that difference lies. Education, intelligence, aptitude, attitude, age, wilful ignorance, environment, or sex. It is up to the putative teacher to adapt their didactic tools to fit the application.

    Reply

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