When I was 5 the future was obvious. I was going to be a veterinarian and take care of horses.

The Dutch "numerus clausus" lotery system restricting the number of students entering veterinary school, defeated me twice.

It threw me. Possibly much more so than I ever realized.

Not that I regret not being a vet. My image of being a vet was viewed through rose colored glasses at best.

But ever since I didn't get the chance to become what up till then I had always wanted to be, I have never really been sure about what I wanted to do instead.

I didn't have a plan B.

Some say that is good, because having a plan B makes you less invested in plan A. Some say it is bad, because you get stuck when plan A fails.

There is merit in both points of view. Looking back, you might say that I am a prime example of why it is bad not to have a plan B.

Don't quite agree with that though. For one, I have never been stuck. I tend to come up with plan B when I need one. But more importantly, it assumes that your goal remains the same and you only need a different way of reaching it.

I didn't need a plan B, I needed a goal B.

And I found one. And another one, And a third. Went back to the second. And now, I am once again wondering whether what I am doing is really what I want to do when I grow up.

Sad in a sense.

But not all sad.

Not at all.

In fact, I view it as a golden opportunity. A chance to refocus my life. Or should I say to finally focus my life? To take life by the short and curlies instead of letting life happen to me.

Who knows what will come out of this.

I may end up doing what I have been doing most of my working life, I may turn my life around completely.

All of a sudden (well, not so sudden, but anyway), my life is once again abound with possibilities. It's like being at the start of my life again. The sheer number of possibilities feels overwhelming at times. But it also feels good. Very good indeed. Life looks a lot brighter than it did a couple of months ago.